“MANUT WONG TUO IKU APIK”: PENYESUAIAN DIRI MENANTU PEREMPUAN DALAM KELUARGA JAWA
“MANUT WONG TUO IKU APIK”: Adjustment of Daughters-in-Law Living Javanese Families
DOI:
https://doi.org/10.24156/jikk.2026.19.1.41Keywords:
budaya Jawa, keluarga Jawa, menantu perempuan, mertua, penyesuaian diriAbstract
Penyesuaian diri menantu perempuan dalam keluarga Jawa merupakan proses psikososial yang dipengaruhi oleh relasi keluarga dan nilai budaya. Penelitian ini bertujuan mengeksplorasi dinamika penyesuaian diri menantu perempuan dalam konteks budaya Jawa. Penelitian menggunakan pendekatan kualitatif dengan desain fenomenologi. Data diperoleh melalui wawancara mendalam semistruktur terhadap tiga perempuan bersuku Jawa yang telah menikah, tinggal bersama mertua, dan memiliki anak. Analisis data dilakukan menggunakan analisis tematik. Hasil penelitian menunjukkan bahwa proses penyesuaian diri berlangsung secara bertahap sejak sebelum menikah hingga menjalani kehidupan rumah tangga. Proses tersebut dipengaruhi oleh kesiapan psikologis, kualitas relasi dengan mertua, konflik interpersonal, dukungan suami, serta internalisasi nilai budaya Jawa seperti manut, harmoni, dan penghormatan terhadap orang tua. Menantu cenderung menggunakan strategi koping pasif, seperti menahan emosi dan berhati-hati dalam berkomunikasi untuk menjaga keharmonisan keluarga. Kebaruan penelitian ini terletak pada integrasi aspek psikologis, relasi keluarga, dan nilai budaya Jawa dalam memahami pengalaman subjektif menantu perempuan yang tinggal bersama mertua. Temuan penelitian menunjukkan pentingnya dukungan pasangan dan komunikasi keluarga yang lebih terbuka sebagai upaya membangun relasi keluarga yang adaptif dan harmonis.
References
Abbaspour, Z. (2021). Development and validation of quality of mother and daughter-in-law's relationship scale. Journal of Counseling Research, 20(77), 1–24. https://doi.org/10.18502/qjcr.v20i77.6145
Allendorf, K. (2017). Like her own: Ideals and experiences of the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship. Journal of Family Issues, 38(15), 2102–2128. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X15590685
Anil, D. S., & Pakrashi, D. (2026). From extended family to enhanced burden: Health implications for daughters-in-law within patrilocal households. Social Science & Medicine, 397, 119105. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2026.119105
Anindita, S. M., Viranda, C., & Oktavia, A. (2025). Adaptasi skala kesiapan menikah (Adaptation of Marriage Readiness Scale). Muqoddima: Jurnal Pemikiran dan Riset Sosiologi, 5(1), 32–42. https://doi.org/10.47776/mjprs.005.01.05
Annisa, Q., Ahmad, A. B., & Al-Faidah, A. W. (2024). Exploring mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts in contemporary family structures. Usraty: Journal of Islamic Family Law, 2(2), 175–187. https://doi.org/10.30983/usraty.v2i2.8814
Anukriti, S., & Dasgupta, S. (2018). Marriage markets in developing countries. In S. L. Averett, L. M. Argys, & S. D. Hoffman (Eds.), The Oxford handbook of women and the economy (pp. 97–120). Oxford University Press. https://doi.org/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780190628963.013.5
Aziz, R., & Mangestuti, R. (2021). Membangun keluarga harmonis melalui cinta dan spiritualitas pada pasangan suami-istri di Provinsi Jawa Timur. Jurnal Ilmu Keluarga dan Konsumen, 14(2), 129–139. https://doi.org/10.24156/jkk.2021.14.2.129
Blalock, J., & Bartle-Haring, S. (2022). Transition into marriage: A test of relational uncertainty, turbulence, dyadic synchrony, and cohabitation in newlyweds. Family Relations, 71(4), 1637–1657. https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12686
Braun, V., & Clarke, V. (2006). Using thematic analysis in psychology. Qualitative Research in Psychology, 3(2), 77–101. https://doi.org/10.1191/1478088706qp063oa
Creswell, J. W., & Poth, C. N. (2018). Qualitative inquiry and research design: Choosing among five approaches (4th ed.). SAGE.
Fadilah, N., Achdiani, Y., Hawa, D. V., Audila, K. T., Khairulnisa, R., & Hayatunnufus, Z. Z. (2026). Dari individu ke keluarga: Proses adaptasi pasangan pada tahap awal perkawinan. Triwikrama: Jurnal Ilmu Sosial, 11(11), 601–610.
Fala, M., Herawati, T., & Sunarti, E. (2020). Sumber stres, strategi koping, gejala stres, dan kepuasan perkawinan pada istri bekerja. Jurnal Ilmu Keluarga dan Konsumen, 13(1), 25–37. https://doi.org/10.24156/jikk.2020.13.1.25
Guo, N., Ho, H. C. Y., Wang, M. P., Lai, A. Y., Luk, T. T., Viswanath, K., Chan, S. S. C., & Lam, T. H. (2021). Factor structure and psychometric properties of the Family Communication Scale in the Chinese population. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 736514. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.736514
Hamidah, L., & Retpitasari, E. (2022). Identity of NU and Muhammadiyah groups: Gender communication studies. Tribakti: Jurnal Pemikiran Keislaman, 33(1), 153–172. https://doi.org/10.33367/tribakti.v33i1.2149
Hatzir, N. A., & Segev, E. (2023). Intergenerational communication: The meaning of communication channels and their affordances. Journal of Family Communication, 23(1), 41–51. https://doi.org/10.1080/15267431.2022.2126476
Hennink, M. M., Hutter, I., & Bailey, A. (2020). Qualitative research methods (2nd ed.). SAGE.
Hidayah, N., & Rohimah, S. (2026). Kesiapan menikah generasi muda: Tinjauan psikologi pendidikan Islam. Tsaqofah, 6(2), 1959–1967. https://doi.org/10.58578/tsaqofah.v6i2.8724
Hurlock, E. B. (1999). Psikologi perkembangan. Yayasan Mitra Netra.
Juniarly, A., Rachmawati, R., Nugroho, I. P., Syifa, S., & Nuranisyah, Y. (2022). Persepsi terhadap empati suami, dukungan sosial, dan kepuasan pernikahan pada istri dengan peran ganda. Jurnal Psikologi Teori dan Terapan, 13(2), 144–154. https://doi.org/10.26740/jptt.v13n2.p144-154
Juniarti, R., Arsi, Q., & Sumarni, N. (2024). The effect of social support on stress in daughters-in-law living with in-laws. International Journal of Social Science, Education, Communication and Economics, 3(4), 1315–1322. https://doi.org/10.54443/sj.v3i4.414
Karakose, S., & Ledermann, T. (2023). Let's talk, honey: An analysis of associations between communication patterns and dyadic adjustment in married couples. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 40(8), 2526–2548. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075231153668
Keldal, G., & Yıldırım, İ. (2022). Factors associated with marital readiness among Turkish young adults. Family Relations, 71(1), 307–324. https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12619
Krisnatuti, D., & Oktaviani, F. (2011). Persepsi dan kesiapan menikah pada mahasiswa. Jurnal Ilmu Keluarga dan Konsumen, 4(1), 1–10. https://doi.org/10.24156/jikk.2011.4.1.30
Kung, H.-M. (2019). Persistence and change in the comparative status of mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law in Taiwanese families: 1979 to 2016. Journal of Family Issues, 40(14), 1937–1962. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X19863205
LaFreniere, J. R., & Kulkarni, C. (2022). Relational satisfaction as a mediator of parent–young adult conflict and young adults' emotional labor. Journal of Family Communication, 22(1), 71–78. https://doi.org/10.1080/15267431.2021.1998065
Martens, D. M. (2015). Research and evaluation in education and psychology: Integrating diversity with quantitative, qualitative, and mixed methods (4th ed.). SAGE.
Mertens, E. C., Deković, M., van Londen, M., & Reitz, E. (2021). Partner relationship quality and psychological well-being during the transition to parenthood: Associations with parenting stress and support. Family Process, 60(4), 1365–1381. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12639
Nadhirah, A., & Khotimah, S. K. (2022). Marital satisfaction among families living with parents-in-law: The role of marital adjustment and religiosity. Humanitas: Indonesian Psychological Journal, 19(2), 43–51. https://doi.org/10.26555/humanitas.v19i2.50
Pandya, S. P. (2021). Spirituality-based counseling improves family relationships and quality of life among cohabiting South Asian mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 49(4), 323–343. https://doi.org/10.1080/01926187.2020.1813658
Prime, H., Wade, M., & Browne, D. T. (2020). Risk and resilience in family well-being during the COVID-19 pandemic. American Psychologist, 75(5), 631–643. https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000660
Rachman, A., Puspitawati, H., & Herawati, T. (2020). Interaksi keluarga dan ketahanan keluarga pada pasangan muda. Jurnal Ilmu Keluarga dan Konsumen, 13(1), 45–56. https://doi.org/10.24156/jikk.2020.13.1.1
Rahmah, M., Quraisy, H., & Risfaisal, R. (2019). Konflik sosial menantu yang tinggal serumah dengan mertua. Equilibrium: Jurnal Pendidikan, 7(2), 206–210. https://doi.org/10.26618/equilibrium.v7i2.2626
Santrock, J. W. (2021). Life-span development (18th ed.). McGraw Hill.
Schneiders, A. A. (1964). Personal adjustment and mental health. Holt, Rinehart and Winston.
Septiana, V. S., Krisnanti, D., & Simanjuntak, M. (2021). Faktor suku dalam pola komunikasi, penyesuaian suami istri, dan keharmonisan keluarga. Jurnal Ilmu Keluarga dan Konsumen, 7(1), 1–9. https://doi.org/10.24156/jikk.2014.7.1.1
Sidiqoh, S., & Ashari, W. S. (2023). Analisis fenomena pasangan suami istri yang tinggal bersama mertua. Al-Usariyah: Jurnal Hukum Keluarga Islam, 1. https://doi.org/10.37397/al-usariyah.v1i3
Tsania, N., Sunarti, E., & Krisnatuti, D. (2015). Karakteristik keluarga, kesiapan menikah istri, dan perkembangan anak usia 3–5 tahun. Jurnal Ilmu Keluarga dan Konsumen, 8(1), 28–37. https://doi.org/10.24156/jikk.2015.8.1.28
Tyas, F. P. S., Herawati, T., & Sunarti, E. (2017). Tugas perkembangan keluarga dan kepuasan pernikahan pada pasangan menikah usia muda. Jurnal Ilmu Keluarga dan Konsumen, 10(2), 83–94. https://doi.org/10.24156/jikk.2017.10.2.83
Wang, Y., Li, X., & Fan, C. (2022). Family functioning, emotion regulation, and psychological well-being among adults: The mediating role of coping strategies. Frontiers in Psychology, 13, 878245. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.878245
Ward, F., & Linn, R. (2020). The mother-in-law mystique: A tale of conflict, criticism and resistance. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, 41(4), 381–392. https://doi.org/10.1002/anzf.1430
Zhang, X., Zhou, M., & Kam, C. C. S. (2025). How expressive communication enhances intercultural sensitivity: The mediating role of intergenerational communication. International Journal of Educational Research, 133, 102727. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijer.2025.102727
Downloads
Published
Issue
Section
License
Copyright (c) 2026 Jurnal Ilmu Keluarga dan Konsumen
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
This work is licensed under a 