The Verbal Influence of Husband and Wife on The Verbal of Couple and Children in The Family

Interaction among family members can be in the form of verbal interaction. A bad verbal partner has an impact on verbal in the family. The purpose of this study was to examine the relationship and test the influence of family characteristics, husband-wife verbal, on partner and child verbal. This study used a cross-sectional design. The population of this research is husband/wife in Indonesia. The number of respondents was 113 people. The results show that the income of one husband and wife has a significant positive relationship with verbal affection for their partner and their children. Verbal violence of one partner has a significant positive relationship with verbal abuse of their children. A husband/wife's verbal affection for a partner has a significant positive relationship with verbal affection for children. Respondents' verbal violence to their partners had a significant positive effect on verbal violence toward children. Respondents' verbal affection for their partner has a significant positive effect on verbal affection for children. The negative diction used is stupid, and the positive meaning is dear. In conclusion, husband/wife's verbal relationship and influence on their verbal to their children.


Introduction
The BKKBN has formulated eight family functions.The functioning of the family promotes the integral development of its members, as well as their state of good health, and meets the basic parameters of adaptation, participation, growth, affection, and resources.Meanwhile, family dysfunction fails to fulfill any of these functions due to changes in one or more subsystems (Botero-Carvajal et al., 2023).However, not all functions in the family work properly.One of the problems in the family is the occurrence of violence in the family, such as violence from husband/wife to partner and to their children.Domestic violence wives face; for example, emotional abuse occurs more often in young wives (Karakurt & Silver, 2013).Vice versa, verbal harassment of a wife to her husband and threatening her husband also impacts the husband's self-esteem (Richardson & Kloess, 2022).Verbal violence perpetrated by husband and wife couples in the Rokan Hulu district, for example, tends to belittle them, shout at them, scold them, and insult them (Ningsih et al., 2021).
Husband-wife violence against a partner does not only affect the couple but also their children.Marital discord (albeit non-violent) was a larger factor in predicting the likelihood of verbal child abuse (Tajima, 2000).Spouse psychological abuse is strongly associated with child abuse.Namely, children experience a substantially increased risk of mistreatment when a partner's psychological abuse is present at home (Chang et al., 2008).There is a significant relationship between parental verbal abuse and adolescent behavior (Nova & Sari, 2021).Parental psychological abuse factors predict mental health problems in adolescents (Rizvi & Najam, 2014).Meanwhile, children who see violence in the family, especially boys, such as violence perpetrated by husbands or wives, assume that they may do so later when they are adults (Fikree et al., 2005).Boys tend to be the aggressors of verbal bullying (Serra-Negra et al., 2015); (Patock-Peckham et al., 2020).The higher the level of verbal violence experienced by a teenager, the lower his selfconfidence (Oktania et al., 2022).
One form of embodiment and affection is verbal-verbal husband to wife, father to child, wife to husband, and mother to child.The verbs of the father (husband) and mother (wife) will be imitated by their children.Children imitate the first language of the family.Parental input factors are passed on to children, such as children's language (Dale et al., 2015).Language significantly impacts the psychological characteristics of interpersonal relationships in the family, especially in the world of upbringing (Kabakova & Maulsharif, 2013).That is, if the language used in family communication is positive as a manifestation of affection, children will grow up with positive and affectionate language.Parental affection in childhood will reduce the likelihood of developing major depressive disorder in middle to late adulthood (Dale et al., 2015).
In fact, in the family, the use of language in communication differs between fathers and mothers.Mothers, as wives, are more likely to use a hostile communication style with language that has a negative meaning, while husbands are more likely to use a withdrawn style, such as silence (Krivickas et al., 2010).However, some studies show otherwise.Husbands (fathers) tend to engage in discursive practices by using demeaning and subordinating lexis to their wives (mothers), such as cursing, cursing (saying a bitch or whore in the local language) (Jastrzebska-Szklarska, 2002).Verbal humiliation, lowering self-esteem, controlling behavior, disrespectful behavior, and threats made by husbands to wives (Barata et al., 2005).
Verbal violence in this family also occurs in Indonesia, 1) the husband scolds, 2) curses, 3) calls bad names (such as calling his wife with the word dog), 4) insults, and 5) terrorizes (in the form of threats if the victim tries to leave her husband or report the violence); this makes the wife feel ashamed of her neighbors, low self-esteem, disappointment, disrespect for her husband, and pent-up anger (Tubalawony et al., 2019).It shows that one of the eight family functions stipulated by the BKKBN (affection function) has not been realized.In this case, love and respect are the most important factors in providing mental health in families, such as for children, and this is the best educational method (Saedi & Safara, 2017).Affection manifests in parent-child closeness, and affection expressed by parents is phenotypically (observable) related to adolescent self-esteem, and the more positive the relationship, the better adolescent selfesteem (McAdams et al., 2017).Affection provided through increased family communication can help improve emotional regulation abilities, reduce depressive symptoms, and subsequently the risk of suicide (López et al., 2022).In addition, good communication between parents and their children, which is like communication between children and their friends, will help children become independent and complete their daily activities and study plans and improvements (Young et al., 2006).
Conversely, a low level of warmth or affection in the parent-child relationship is an important risk factor for common mental disorders (CMD) in adolescence (Moraes et al., 2018).Affection during adolescence impacts interpersonal functioning at the macro and micro levels during adulthood (Morosan et al., 2022).
There has not been much research on the verbalization of husband and wife partners and parents' verbal communication with their children.In this regard, this study aimed to examine the relationship and test the influence of family characteristics and husband-wife verbality on the verbal partner and children.In addition, words used as a form of verbal affection and verbal abuse will also be explored, as well as responses or responses from spouses and children.

Participants
This study used a cross-sectional design.Data collection for two months (May-June 2023) via Google Forms and distributed via social media (WhatsApp).The questionnaire consists of choices and brief entries.The population of this research is complete families (husband and wife) who have children who are still in school (SD-SLTA) in Indonesiaparticipation only in husband or wife only.The number of research samples was 113, with 47 husbands (men) and 66 wives (women).

Measurements
The variables studied in this study were verbal affection and verbal violence.Verbal affection (verbal affection) are words spoken with a positive meaning.This questionnaire was developed from the Verbal Affection Questionnaire (VAFF).Exposure to verbal affection was assessed using the Verbal Affection Questionnaire, in which a partner (husband or wife) says love, gives praise, provides verbal comfort, expresses affection through stories or songs, and is involved.In meaningful conversations (Polcari et al., 2014).Five questions were the same for the two groups (wife/husband and children) with a frequency of 0-7: 0=never, 1=once-twice, 2=three-four times, 3=five and more five times, 4= every month, 5= every week, 6=several times a week, 7=every day.The Defina / Journal of Family Sciences, 2024 respondent's verbal affection questionnaire for this couple has a Cronbach's alpha of 0.932, and the respondent's verbal affection for the child is 0.942.
Verbal violence (verbal abuse) is words that have a negative meaning spoken by speakers to speech partners (husband to wife or vice versa, wife to husband, husband/father, or wife/mother to children).The instrument used is the Verbal abuse scale (VAS) compiled by Teicher et al. (2006), which was published by Polcari et al. (2014)) and Jeong et al. (2015).15 questions are the same for the two groups (wife/husband and children).The respondent's verbal abuse questionnaire for this pair has a Cronbach's alpha of 0.866, and the respondent's verbal abuse for children is 0.875.
Furthermore, there is also a short entry with a total of 8 numbers in the questionnaire.The short entries are four numbers about words with positive meanings and words with negative meanings that the husband/wife says to their partner and their children.Furthermore, the four numbers are also about the couple's response to the husband/wife's speech and the child's response based on the respondent's perception.

Analysis
The data obtained from the survey results are then processed in Microsoft Excel through editing, scoring, data entry, cleaning, analyzing, and interpretation.Preprocessing is a data selection activity that makes the data obtained easy to understand.This preprocessing activity begins by copying and tidying up all the respondent's answer data into Microsoft Excel and then processing it through five preprocessing stages.Spelling normalization, an activity to correct abbreviated words or spellings that are not by good and correct Indonesian rules; case folding is an activity to change all letters in a document to be uniform; tokenizing, an activity separating the text contained in the document into independent words (not influencing each other); filtering, an activity to remove unnecessary words; grouping and arrangement of sentences are carried out based on groups of keywords found using good and correct Indonesian.
After the survey data was processed using Microsoft Excel, the data was analyzed using the Statistical Package for Social Science (SPSS) 25.0 for Windows.In addition to reliability and validity tests, this study also used descriptive analysis, paired t-test of differences, and independent t-test of differences.Descriptive data analysis was carried out to find the description related to the distribution of all the variables used.Multiple linear regression analysis begins with a classical assumption test consisting of a normality test (Sig.0.200), a heteroscedasticity test with a range of Sig values 2 tailed (0,000-0,185), where the value is more than 0.05 for index verbal violence to partner and Verbal affection to partner, multicollinearity test with VIF value (1.030-1.995),and autocorrelation test (DW= 1.983).Furthermore, the results of the analysis are presented in tabular form.In the survey data, grouping was carried out based on the gender of women and men.

Characteristics of Respondents
The average age of the respondents was 45.42 years, with a drinking age of 30 years and a maximum of 65 years.The average length of education of respondents is more than 16 years or undergraduate with varying incomes, and some do not have income, namely respondents whose profession is homemakers.The number of family members also varied, namely 2-9 (Table 1).Most of the respondents' professions were teachers/lecturers (42.5%), civil servants (other than teachers/lecturers [20.4%]), housewives (13.3%), and the rest were private employees, traders, entrepreneurs, and others.In daily communication with family members, almost half of the respondents only used Indonesian (44.2%) and mixed regional Indonesian (43.4%).However, some respondents only spoke regionally (6.2%) and mixed Indonesian-foreign languages (6.28%).Respondents live mostly in Java (71%), then Sumatra (17.7%), and the rest are in Sulawesi, Kalimantan, Papua, and other islands.They generally live in cities (72.6%).

Husband/Wife Verbal Difference Test in the Family and Family Characteristics
Based on different tests of verbal violence and family verbal affection between male and female respondents, it was found that there were significant differences.The verbal affection of women (wives) to partners is higher than that of men (husbands).Likewise, with income, there is also a real difference in the income of men (husbands).The income of men (husbands) is higher than that of women (wives) (Table 2).The Relationship between Family Characteristics, Spouse's Verbal to Children Based on the relationship test, the income of one husband and wife has a significant positive relationship with verbal affection for their partner and their children in the family.That is, the higher the husband or wife's income, the higher the verbal affection for their partner and their children in the family.Furthermore, one partner's verbal abuse has a significant positive relationship with the verbal abuse of their child.That is, the higher the verbal violence experienced by the husband/wife, the higher the verbal violence he did to his child.Likewise, the verbal affection of the husband/wife to their partner has a significant positive relationship with their verbal affection for the child.That is, the higher the verbal affection given by the husband/wife to their partner, the higher the verbal affection given to their children in the family.Based on the generally known items of verbal violence committed by respondents to their partners, in this one year, more than half of the respondents have scolded, criticized, and blamed their partners.However, almost none of the respondents ever threatened to hurt their partner, cursed/sworn at, insulted, laughed at, yelled at, or called their partner a bad name.Even so, there is still one respondent who always scolds his partner every day and one respondent who scolds his partner every month in this one year.There is also one respondent who yells at and blames their partner for something every month and two respondents who criticize their partner every month this year.
Furthermore, the treatment of their children was general.More than half of the respondents had 1) scolded their children, 2) blamed their children for something, 3) criticized, 4) shouted at them, and 5) raised their voices at their children.Furthermore, there is one respondent who scolds his child every day, one who scolds his child several times a week, and one who scolds his child every week.There is one respondent who screams at his child several times a week.It is one respondent who every week blames his child for something.Two respondents criticize their children every week, and one criticizes their child several days a week.There is one respondent who raises his voice several times a week at his children's and another at his child's every week.
For verbal affection with five statements, of the five statement items, the fifth and third items were mostly carried out every day by respondents, namely engaging in meaningful communication (38.1%) and providing verbal comfort (32.7%).Furthermore, regarding declarations of love (item 1), giving compliments to partners (point 2), and expressing affection through stories/singing (item 4), only 1 out of 10 respondents express it every day to their partners.
It is different from the verbal affection that a sumi/wife does to their partner and their children.With five statements, item 3 is the one that most respondents do every day, namely providing verbal comfort to children (52.2%).On the other hand, what the respondents did the least was expressing affection through stories/singing (20.1%).When compared between habits about expressing love to children (30.1%), giving praise to children (34.5%), and engaging in meaningful communication (37.2%) every day, sit shows that the percentages are not much different.

The Influence of Verbal Violence and Family Verbal Affection on Children's Verbal
The influence test results showed that the respondent's verbal violence to their partner had a significant positive effect on verbal violence to children.It means the higher the verbal violence perpetrated by the husband/wife, the higher the verbal violence perpetrated against the child.The Adjusted R Square value indicates that the analysis model only explains 33.9 percent of the effect of partner verbal abuse on children's verbal abuse; the remaining 66.1 percent is influenced by other variables not examined (Table 4).The influence test results showed that the respondent's verbal affection for his partner had a significant positive effect on verbal affection for children.It means the higher the verbal affection shown by the husband/wife, the higher the verbal affection for the child.The Adjusted R Square value indicates that the analysis model only explains 49.0 percent of the effect of a partner's verbal affection on verbal affection for children; the remaining 51.0 percent is influenced by other variables not examined.

Words of Verbal Affection and Verbal Expressed by Husband/Wife to Spouse and Children and Responses
Based on the brief entries, it is known that two words have positive meanings as a form of verbal affection that many husbands and wives express to their partners, namely love and thank you.The husband/wife's response when receiving words with positive meaning from their partner is almost the same as the child's response when receiving words with positive meaning, namely smiling happily, being happy, saying thank you, and hugging.Meanwhile, three words have positive meanings as a form of verbal affection that many husbands (fathers)/wives (mothers) express to their children, namely love, great, and good.
Based on the order, words with negative meanings spoken by a husband/wife to their partner are stupid, ugly, and disliked.On the other hand, three words have a negative meaning as a form of verbal violence that many husbands (fathers)/wives (mothers) express to their children, namely naughty, lazy, and stupid.Husband/wife responses when receiving words with negative meaning from their partners were 69.5 percent silent/accepting/not saying anything, and 15.72 percent sad/crying.In contrast, the children's responses when they received words with negative meanings from their father/mother were 52.03 percent silent/no response/tend to be ignorant and 12.24 percent angry/sulky (Table 6).

Discussion
The use of the mother/regional language in the family sphere by family members is very small, namely less than ten percent.Husbands/wives, when communicating with their spouse or with children, use mostly Indonesian and a mixture of Indonesian and regional languages and even a mixture of Indonesian and foreign languages.It is also to Suryadi's (2017) findings that the use of local languages in Javanese families is quite low, which is characterized by (1) a lack of proper teaching of Javanese in daily life and (2) low mastery of Javanese vocabulary, especially at the krama level, and krama inggil.There are verbal differences between husband and wife.The average wife's verbal affection is higher than the husband's.The wife shows more affection.It is to the findings of Pangaribuan (2016) that the wife gives praise to her husband as a form of affection in overcoming conflict to achieve harmony.
Verbal in the family can be in the form of affection and violence from husband/wife to partner and to children.Attracting a husband/wife has a significant positive relationship Defina / Journal of Family Sciences, 2024 with verbal affection for their partner and their children in the family.It differs from the findings Niman et al. (2023) that family income is significantly related to verbal violence.Lower reduction as a stressor is associated with psychological deprivation for the child (Black et al., 2001).Furthermore, one partner's verbal abuse has a significant positive relationship with the verbal abuse of their child.Likewise, the verbal affection of the husband/wife to their partner has a significant positive relationship with their verbal affection for the child.That is, husbands/wives who have high incomes give verbal affection to their partners and children.Husbands/wives who express verbal affection to their partners will express verbal affection to their children as well.Vice versa, a husband/wife who verbally abuses their partner will also verbally abuse their child.It shows that the husband-wife relationship will determine the verbal in children.Moreover, children who were verbally abused when they were young and saw their father-mother's abusive relationship would also commit violence as adults (when they are married).According to Laeheem and Boonprakarn (2016)finding, domestic violence comes from a family background where they were raised in a strict style; they experience violence, watching their parents chase them and beat each other; criticize heavily; and engage in violent behavior in their childhood.
In families in Indonesia, there are not many expressions of verbal affection in the form of declarations of love every day to children and spouses.The manifestation of husband/wife affection for partners is more in the form of engaging in meaningful communication and providing verbal comfort.Likewise, the form of father/mother affection for their children, in general, is to provide verbal comfort to children, and few fathers/mothers express it through stories/singing.Furthermore, verbal violence committed by husbands/wives in families in Indonesia generally is scolding, criticizing, and blaming their partners.Verbal violence against children has been done by scolding, criticizing, blaming, shouting, and raising their voices.It is almost the same as the findings (Wahyuni, 2020) that parents commit verbal violence by yelling at, belittling, threatening, and comparing children.Verbal abuse of children, such as being shouted at frequently, will have severe consequences for the child's mentality (Polcari et al., 2014).
Husband/wife's verbal to partner affects verbal to their children.Husband/wife, verbal violence to partners has a significant positive effect on verbal abuse to children.Vice versa, verbal affection of husband/wife to partner has a significant positive effect on verbal affection for children.Meanwhile, the findings Alvionita et al. (2021) and Listari and Astuti (2021) further clarify that verbal abuse by parents, such as mothers, has a strong relationship with mothers' work stress levels.Increased parental conflict, such as mother-daughter, also increases verbal violence against them (Donovan & Brassard, 2011).Mothers are more frequently present in abusive parent-child experiences than fathers (Sabarre et al., 2021).
Words that are generally used by husband/wife to their partner and their children are almost the same.Words with a positive meaning are dear, and negative ones are stupid.The word stupid is a form of verbal violence in the family is also found Diani et al. (2022).Namely, siblings say words with negative meanings, such as stupid and lazy.Words that exist in the environment, such as family, are absorbed and spoken by children, such as stupid words (Utami et al., 2018).The attitude or response of spouses and children when receiving speech from husband (father)/wife (mother) is also generally the same.They smile when they receive verbal affection and are silent when they receive verbal abuse.

Defina / Journal of Family Sciences, 2024
The study's limitations were the small number of respondents who participated, and the husband and wife did not fill out the questionnaire at the same time but by only one partner.Thus, different tests cannot be carried out.

Conclusion
Verbal use of husband/wife to partner is related to and influences verbal to children.There are three things related to the results of the relationship test: the income of a husband and wife has a significant positive relationship with verbal affection for his partner and their children; verbal abuse of one partner has a significant positive relationship with verbal abuse of their children; a husband/wife's verbal affection for a partner has a significant positive relationship with verbal affection for children.There are two things related to the regression test results: the respondent's verbal violence to a partner has a significant positive effect on verbal violence to children; the Respondents' verbal affection for their partner has a significant positive effect on verbal affection to children.In general, the three dictions with negative meanings often used by husbands/mothers to their children are naughty, lazy, and stupid, and positive ones are affectionate, great, and kind.Furthermore, the three dictions with negative meanings often used by husbands/mothers to partners are stupid, ugly, and dislike, and positive ones are love, thank you, and sincerity.The response of children and spouses when receiving verbal meaningful negative is generally silence and getting verbal affection, generally smiling, saying, and thanking.

Recommendation
Based on the finding that verbal abuse and verbal affection from the husband/wife's mother affect the verbal affection of the partner to the child, the husband/wife should continue to increase verbal affection.Husbands/wives must avoid verbal violence so that partners do not do the same thing, especially to children.

Table 1 .
Age, education, income, and family size of respondents (n=113)

Table 2 .
Tests for differences in verbal violence and verbal affection in the family and family characteristics between men and women Note: * significant at p<0.05; **significant at p<0.01

Table 3 .
Test the relationship between family characteristics, verbal violence, and verbal affection Note: * significant at p<0.05; **significant at p<0.01

Table 4 .
Test the influence of verbal respondents on verbal abuse of partners by children Note: *significant at p<0.05; **significant at p<0.01

Table 5 .
Test the influence of verbal respondents on the verbal affection of partners to children

Table 6 .
The words and responses of spouses and children when receiving verbal affection and verbal violence Note: W=Women; M=Men